Milestones.....

This morning I realised that it’s now six months since my cancer treatment finished. Six cancer-free months!!! It has certainly been a time of tiny and big steps forward, alongside tiny and big steps backwards. A new lump was found during my first post-treatment scans in February that made my heart stop for a good few days until cancer was officially ruled out. It was a neon-flashing reminder that while I may now be in remission, cancer is always going to loom large in my life, whatever the next chapters may hold. In these past six months, there has been so much to manage, process and accept. A year's worth of medical checks and procedures are already marked in my diary. The always present fear of cancer returning is something that lurks in the shadows of every day. There is a new ‘me’ to accept- the way I look, the way I feel, and recognising that my body now has its limits as the healing process from chemotherapy, surgery and radiation continues. I am learning to surrender to the timing of my recovery, accepting that it might not be as quick as I would like, but that’s OK. The six month mark feels like I’ve reached a milestone as I learn to live this new post-cancer life- slower than before, paying more attention to who and what nourishes, uplifts and nurtures me, and not wasting a moment on anything, or anyone, that does not. I’m picking up my camera, almost daily now, and also writing again. Producing, planning and dreaming about the projects and work that I want to create, share and be involved in. And amongst all of the heartaches right now, including a flood disaster in the place I call home, there are little slices of blue sky starting to reappear. They are still somewhat in the distance but I can see them now.