“Life is composed of light and shadows and we would be untruthful, insincere and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows.”
Walt Disney
I am learning that there are high expectations from well-meaning people, (and some medical professionals) of how I should “be” while I am living with cancer.
“Be Brave!”, “Be Strong!”, “Be Positive!” are on repeat in almost every conversation. Talk of despair, frustration or sadness is often hushed over with a “You mustn’t think like that!” or “ Don’t say that!”.
But the reality is that, in the darkness and fog of relentless and painful weekly treatments, crushing physical and emotional side effects and constant whirl of medical appointments, it is not always possible to meet others expectations of how I should “be” at this time.
So instead, I am choosing my own way to ”be”. And that is:
-Determined.
-Patient.
-Realistic.
These words are the ones that motivate me to keep going, acknowledging that at the fringe of all the dark moments and days (and there are many) there is a glimmer of light, no matter how feint or wavering. And I will move towards it in my own time, in my own way.